earthly voyages

Archives

now browsing by author

 

Wellfleet – Another Universe

I visit White Crest Beach with the magnificent Pearl on the day before Labor Day, 2023. People are snow-boarding down the cliffs on their surfboards. Others are riding down the cliff on bicycles, some holding surfboards, and one even holding a surfboard and a baby in his right arm.
I had a very nice encounter with a beautiful, deaf, pitbull, named Steve, and with two beautiful Two Spirit women who did not know what the Tet Offensive was or who Leonard Peltier was.

Viewpoints from my voyages…

Maine

I was recently on a trip to Maine that reminded me how absolutely beautiful the state was at a that too distant future date I will try to describe that recent voyage, and its components which included a visit to the graveside of a friend and was very touching.

Viewpoints from my voyages…

Whispering Among The Gods

Making Hay

Harvesting hay is one of the oldest known activities required of any farmer who hopes his herd will survive the cold weather months in climates where winter grass grazing supplies for stock are inadequate to sustain them.  And if a modern farm cannot grow, harvest, and store its own hay the cost of purchasing hay can be devastatingly beyond the farmer’s economic reach.  We understood this reality, of course, but still were complete rookies in tall grass, not even knowing how to tell when the ideal time would be to harvest the hay growing on our farm in glorious meadows that were green and beautiful without our even having seeded them.

“Look here,” said the grizzled Saint George, “these seed heads are not quite ripe, which is exactly what you want to see to get your cutting time just right, with the grass leaves being about at their maximum growth, which these are.  You see it?”

Well sure we saw it.  Distinguishing it from earlier or later states of hay growth and maturity was another matter.  But George has been checking every day he’s visited the farm and a few of us had been walking out into the fields with him for daily five minute hay tutorials.  And as far as George can tell, he announces, if the rains hold off for three or four days this is the ideal day for the grass to be mowed in the field.  Now comes the hard part.

Before the advent of horse drawn or mechanical equipment all hay was cut by hand sickle or scythe.  We, of course, were centuries beyond such gleaning techniques and had already purchased for almost no money an old horse-drawn sickle mower with a seven foot long bar holding a few dozen very sharp triangular blades which moved back and forth as the mower wheels turned, sort of like a hair clipper works. Even farmers who rely on mechanized tractor drawn machinery use mowers not very different in design than the horse drawn ones.  This was an amazing and also a truly dangerous piece of equipment, the kind of mower that has been around since before the Civil War.  Ours may even have been that old, but with some sharpening and lots of oiling we were ready.
 Well, maybe ready, except for the slight matter of hitching our team of horses to the mower.  You may think that an easy task, but it is an immense commitment of time, first grooming the horses to remind them you are their friend and they are in your debt, then putting on their pulling yokes, fitting the harnesses and the reins, walking and then backing the horses into the space in front of the mower wheels, one on either side of the draw bar, hooking the draw and the pulling bars up to the harness, steadying the team, climbing onto the mower seat, walking the mower and the horses to the hay meadow, dropping the cutting bar so that it rides just inches of the ground, engaging the wheel driven gears, and then softly clucking to the horses to start moving forward without freaking out over the noise of the gears, the cutting blades, and the falling hay.  Easy. 
Except that first time I thought it was my turn – perhaps in ideological competition with tradition that holds only one person work a horse or a team no matter how steady and good the horse or the team is for consistency sake and perhaps in pursuit of my ideological credo that everyone had to share in the skilled and unskilled work … horse care and childcare, cutting hay and canning vegetables. Anyhow, horses in captivity appreciate consistency – and I was in waaay over my head – another Peter-Crow wisdom conflict in which Peter yielded, the team freaked out, literally bolted, flipped me out of the seat, and ran with a dangerously waiving seven foot long cutting bar with three inch long scissoring blades capable of cutting off a child’s foot at the ankle through the field, out the gate, and back to the barn, where they stood.  Embarrassed.  Pleased.  Panting.
So how many people should we trust to drive the team?  And why?  This was an ongoing debate.  Everyone had to do his or her share of childcare, at least ideally.  Everyone had to cook and wash dishes.  Everyone had to know how to wield a hammer, to drive a tractor, to muck out a stall, to milk a cow.  But in reality not everyone knew how to change brake pads when that was a need, and not everyone needed to learn.  And in fact Peter was the best handler of the horses.  And he liked doing it.  And it was better for the horses.  And ideology was confronted by practicality.  And on the day the team ran away from me with a seven foot long scissor slicing crazily in thin air I surrendered my hay mowing aspirations, much to the relief of the collective.

Once hay is cut it must be allowed to dry, ideally for a few days in hot sun.  Then it has to be turned and raked into long narrow linear piles known as windrows, originally done by hand with a pitchfork, but now again using a piece of horse drawn equipment.  And then, only when the hay has properly dried, is it ready for gathering in some form to be placed into the barn to protect it from moisture and rot.  Most modern farmers use a tractor driven hay baler for gathering, and when ours was working we did too.  At other times we used pitchforks to pile it loose onto a horse-drawn wagon and then off loaded into the haymow or loft.

Loose hay stored in a barn will compress down and cure. Hay stored before it is fully dry can literally produce enough heat to start a fire, due to bacterial fermentation.  Farmers have to be careful about moisture levels to avoid spontaneous combustion.  Who knew? The most familiarity any of us had with hay was seeing Monet’s haystacks.

Honored

I feel connected when listening
and honored when understood,
by those who delight in satisfying my wishes,
in doing things to please me.
That is almost the definition of honoring.
You honor me, and you, and the us
when you ask for clarification
when you respond to requests for clarification,
when you show your vulnerability,
when you communicate your best and deepest
thoughts and feelings
about all things,
particularly me,
and us,
in the moment.
When you own your own reactiveness.
When you quickly recoup.
Did I say
When you ask for clarification
Or that you are patient
And care about the ability to communicate effectively.
And appreciate effort, courage, and good faith
and manifest them
and see them in me.

After The News

After news of the tragedy arrived
The Tibetan prayer flags waved in the breeze
As they always do
And a hummingbird came to hover
Inches from my face
Reminding me – as if I needed further evidence –
of the need to prepare
for the long journey
by feeding on the sweetness of life
whenever and wherever we can,
always aware,
like the hummingbird,
that we are mere hours from starvation or death,
grateful we can store enough energy  
to respond when our houses need cleaning
and when it is time to move on.
The fact is that doors have closed,
and will close.
The question is,
where will we find the strength
to explore the doors now opened.

Long ago, perhaps yesterday

Long ago, perhaps yesterday
Her visit exposes the soft underbelly
of the large, terrified animal
who rolls over on his back
like an infant in a crib
to let her rub him.
Long ago,
perhaps yesterday.
A man still at war
with himself,
his feelings,
neediness,
his country.
This close to losing
and this close to winning.
Maybe even having won.
Either way it’s a gift to be playing
and a privilege to be sharing

Beyond the Fishermen

On Inle Lake there is a village
Where houses rest on stilts above the waters.
The families who live there
Farm floating islands
Created over the centuries
By people who reach the village shore in small dugout canoes
Where there is a girl’s orphanage
That grows organic vegetables
And a boy’s orphanage
That grows resolve and healing.
High in the hills is a monastery
Past the house where the beautiful woman
Is washing her hair,
Her husband chopping wood for the cooking fire,
The pagoda’s ancient doors open
To reveal the beautiful Buddha statue inside
And a checkers board I take outside
Inviting the young monk to play
Which draws an interested crowd
Of women and children
Appearing as if out of the thin mountain air
In sight of the distant ridge top village
Two hours away by foot –
There being no other way to get there –
Where the people grow lemons
And dusty goats graze
Down the road passed sugar cane fields,
Passed vineyards, ox carts, pigs, butterflies,
Dung heaps, orchards,
And immense golden seedpods that rattle
Before reaching the boat that brought me here
Beyond the net fishermen floating in canoes with their daughters
Offering to sell fish still gasping for breath,
Which I am tempted to buy and throw back in the water
As the sun begins to set
And the clouds form red and gray Burmese letters
Spelling out words I do not know the meaning of
And our boat takes us back to where we came from
Which is the end of all voyages.

Willow

She loved the sea

to sail on skin of ocean

to skid the surface

in quiet ripples

moving with aid of wind

no fish or bird

more buoyant.

He loved the dark of woods
trees young and old
to bend or lean upon
rustle of leaves
hint of other creatures
of mystery
without horizon.

She liked the silence

solitude

the play of elements

the heart of sun

colors brightened

fall of day

a peaceful harbor

to lie upon.

He liked the beach

stone and shell

the warmth of sand

beneath his feet

connected from solid to solid

to float and not to sink

to drift but not to drown.

As tide and shore

they lost their sense

of edges and beginnings

as each the other touched.

Not ship nor gull

they glide and wait

willow to starboard, mate.

B R Taub – June 1980

Thinking About Doing

In addition to whatever actions I’ve taken to serve my self interests as I perceived them from time to time, I have historically acted and made choices out of some sense of desire and obligation to be of service, to save the planet and protect future generations, to end suffering, to end war, to protect threatened ethnic and cultural minorities, to seek justice, to make sure “Never Again” meant Never Again for all.  Now, at 70, I see my most significant self interest as being to act in a manner that is of service to my highest self, that really “goes for it” for myself.  What the planet needs from me may be no more than that. 

As you know, I have historically protected myself from my fears and feelings of rage, from my abuse and humiliation, from my almost complete absence of safety and comfort, with a “who gives a shit” attitude, which while protecting me, was also part of what stood in the way of my caring fully about myself, and, because I was imbued with the sense that I could more or less be anything I wanted to be or get anything I wanted to get, I believed that for whatever loss I might experience there was always another more or less equally good option available behind it.  And there was.  But what is it “I” really want to make me happy, given that I know at 70 that every option, every woman, and every situation will always have its disappointing aspects built in.  And what do I do when the hot love dies?   And how do I sustain my excitement.  And most of all, who is this “I” who thinks about these things?

So while I will no doubt “act,” and do, and make personally significant choices, there is another dimension that has entered “my” consciousness and that has assumed as much importance for me in realizing/attaining my goal of world and personal peace, of world and personal enlightenment, and that is an intense awareness, beyond anything I have known before, of the potential impact of what I actually “feel” (as opposed to what I do) as one who both emanates and receives/absorbs “feelings.”  Now I suspect you will laugh and say, “Feel? You feel all the time and are very sensitive to your feelings.  What are you talking about?”  And I agree that on an “emotional/mental/psychological/gut” level I have always been aware of my feelings, and occasionally aware of their impact on others, but I have had no awareness of what I would call the energetic and spiritual impact of my feelings, no awareness of what I absorb and what I radiate out on an energetic and spiritual level.  And that subconscious energetic and spiritual impact has come to have immense importance to me. 

I believe for example that if you seek peace with hatred in your heart you are assured of failure.  So too lack of compassion, rage, self righteousness … 

So what will I do in light of that?  Much less PDA, although not none.  Much more yoga.  Much more communing with nature, feeling it, even more so.  “September 1, 1939”: “The windiest militant trash/ Important Persons shout/ Is not so crude as our wish:/ What mad Nijinsky wrote/ About Diaghilev/ Is true of the normal heart;/ For the error bred in the bone/ Of each woman and each man/ Craves what it cannot have, Not universal love/ But to be loved alone.”

Circa 2010