Epistle

There are these elements and aspects of the sand painting that is my life:
Work, friendship, worship, love, sex, loss, women, men, Maia, my family,
Political questions, ethics, values, investment, expectation, reward,
Success, failure, accomplishment, mastery, longing, joy,
Engagement, stimulation, trepidation, the Word itself,
Fear, habit, breath, death, health, running, eating, other bodily functions,
Music, counting money, trying hard, not trying at all, giving a damn,
Being open, being hurt, helping, the unknown,
Housecleaning, laundry, dishes, cooking, shopping, driving,
Arranging baby sitters, writing, reading, shaving and showering,
Weighing myself, making love, talking to crows,
Seeing butterflies, horses, turtles, and birds in profuse array,
flying, scurrying, or dead in the highway.

I live my life.
I pay the bills.
I remember always the vast mystery I participate in,
This vast liveliness, this immense universe where goodness abounds,
Where illness, injury, depression, pain, and death stalk everyone inevitably.
Where by the greatest of luck, and some effort, I walk
my current, common, narrow, blessed, simple, single path.
Where hope, fear, fantasies, and realities whisper breezily about me.
Where time passes slowly and in the wink of an eye.
Where love that is strong one moment is faded the next.
The nonstop changing that I hold onto, adjust to, anticipate and hallucinate.
This is the peeling birch bark, snakeskin shedding, noon whistle time.

Understanding evolves. Understanding is illusion.
I am momentary. pleased, cautious, strong, ambitious, quixotic, romantic,
Thankful, awestruck, blissful, present, past, and future,
Changeless and forever, daily, divine, and never,
Before me, after me, regardless of me and mine.

We pause in the stream of life
The waters are rushing swiftly
We touch, smile at, and puzzle one another
We struggle against the current,
We follow the path of least resistance.
We are none of us the Grand Canyon, nor the Colorado River.
I have had occasion to love you.

November, 1976