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Valentines Day in Israel

The waves are rough in the sea of love
This Valentines Day
Crows fly into the wind
Hoping for leverage
Seeking support
Buffeted though free
They call but no one hears

Accusations fly through the air
The sounds of lovers unheard, unheralded
Fractured families longing for simplicity and rest
Comfort, unambiguous pleasure
Safe harbors to anchor in

Sometimes it feels like a kiss

Sometimes just a breeze passing by

The sea is rough in Israel

This Valentines Day

Waves crash onto the shore

Depositing beautiful shells

The tiny homes of lonely sea creatures

Onto the sandy beach

That Palestinians are forbidden to walk upon

Where a man draws names on the beach with sticks

Then draws a big valentine around the names

Then writes the words, “Free Palestine”

His heart breaking with the weight of love

He builds a wall to protect his creation in the sand

But the sea is restless and just
And softly erases it all.



POEMS FOR PALESTINE

    Israel and Palestine borders…

    I Sleep with Rachel Corrie

    I sleep with Rachel Corrie
    Meditate on her message and meanings
    She is smiling though dead
    Her head tilted to her left
    Her blond shoulder length hair
    Tucked behind her ears
    An all American girl
    Who loved justice and the Palestinian people
    Crushed by a Cat D9 bulldozer
    With a restricted field of vision
    And several blind spots
    This last phrase sounds familiar no doubt.
    Now but a memory, a martyr
    A poster on the door
    Of a home in Palestine
    Where her mother comes to visit
    To see for herself what moved her daughter
    Who wrote
    “A massive military machine is killing
    The people I’m having dinner with
    I am witness to the destruction of a people.”

    The older Palestinian woman
    In whose home the poster I sleep with hangs
    Has seen more than her share of humiliation
    Jail
    Her land stolen
    And death
    She says to Rachel’s mother
    “There is a field where flowers grow in our village
    That is called Rachel Corrie
    There are streets and plazas named for her
    Your daughter is our daughter
    Our daughters are your daughters
    We will never forget your daughter
    She is with us every day
    Every time this door slides closed
    Every time this door slides opened.”


    An American Court found
    The bulldozer that killed Rachel
    Was paid for by U.S. Government funds
    But declined to rule on the merits
    Concluding that whether the financing of such bulldozers was just
    Or appropriate
    Was a political question
    Not entrusted to the Judicial Branch

    On the same day Rachel was killed
    Nine Palestinians were also murdered by Israeli forces
    Including a man aged 90
    And a child aged four
    While Rachel, second wife of Jacob
    Who stole her father’s idols
    Was cursed unintentionally
    By the husband who loved her
    And died
    The way of women upon her
    Her doors slid open
    Her doors slid closed forever
    Tears in her eyes
    Words on her lips
    Crying for the end
    To her family’s suffering

    © BRTaub, Ja’ayus, Palestine – Valentines Day 2008



    POEMS FOR PALESTINE

      Israel and Palestine borders…

      The Siege of Gaza

      If Hamas is a terrorist organization 
      What does that make the occupying,
      land-grabbing,
      wall erecting,
      falsely imprisoning
      nuclear weapon-bearing Israelis
      and the Israeli government?
      The only true democracy in the Middle East? 
      “Terrorist organization” is a label;
      that Gaza is sealed is a fact. 
      No food or medicine allowed in. 
      Think Warsaw Ghetto. 
      Think children starving and dying
      Think “never again.”    
      Besides,
      Hamas saying it is going to destroy Israel
      is a bit like the Sioux on reservations
      saying they are going to destroy the U.S.,
      when as we know,
      the U.S. is destroying the U.S.,
      and Israel is destroying Israel.

      POEMS FOR PALESTINE

        Israel and Palestine borders…

        Furry Bug

        On a humid, dark, cloudy summer night,
        Temperature still in the high seventies,
        Streetlights not working,
        I step from my car as a huge fluttering bug
        Flies smack into my lips.
        I do not see it.
        I know it is not a moth or mosquito,
        More a furry flying beetle of some sort.
        And just as I do not see it, I do not hear it.
        Rather I feel its flutter and the soft thud
        As it crashes straight into the very center of my closed mouth,
        Smack in the middle of my pressed lips.
        I blow and brush it away quickly,
        Feeling its dimensions only slightly.
        I respond in surprise and shock,
        But without fear or disgust.
        I know at once that I have been sweetly touched
        Not assaulted or attacked.
        And though my rational mind recognizes it as probability expressed
        A happenstance of fate,
        A random intersection of invertebrate and human,
        I am aware instantly of having been kissed by a beautiful stranger,
        A princess living in the body of a bug,
        The light but explicit tap tap tap of god’s finger
        Calling forth my attention

        “Hey you,” the bug commands with her furry kiss,
        “Wake up, we’re in this together, man.
        Live life fully aware
        And appreciative of me,
        Fly around in the muggy dark night
        Kissing strangers with me
        Let’s be in each other’s company as much as we can bear.”

        I dream that night I stand beside the rushing waters
        Of a mountain stream which calls to me,
        Bids me enter,
        To be pulled along in the frightening, exciting, inexorable flow to the sea.
        I imagine being in the water.
        I imagine being water.
        I am a furry bug
        I kiss your lips.

        POETRY

          Winter Fog

          During the night a warm front
          Passes over the frozen snowpack
          And with it a sense of hope
          And forbearance
          Of limited visibility
          Thickened air
          And the pregnant
          Odors captured in foggy droplets
          That wolves and hunters know
          Air warmer than the earth
          Cats mewling
          As we are mewling
          In darkened bedrooms
          Resentment, regret, and sorrow
          All now like snow on the ground
          Hidden in the wondrous fog

          Poetry

            Dr. Renik I Presume


            November 21, 2012

            I am mostly baffled at what fuels my desire for a rendezvous with, Owen Renik, a H.S. classmate I haven’t seen in 54 years, and who I honestly don’t recall having had one conversation with, ever, or indeed even a shared activity, ever, altho I was surely aware of his existence, viewed him as of a different class, almost waspy, and a competitor. He was not from my neighborhood, i didn’t “hang out” with him, and I knew nothing about him other than what he looked like and what I projected onto him, which at that age I expect I saw as somehow “known” by me. And although I would proclaim I am not that attached or attracted to most of my high school experiences, nor to my high school cohorts, the fact is I have gone to the 10th, 20th, 30th and 50th class reunions. Dr. Renik has not, and I did not ask him why, although my guess/projection is that his h.s. experiences and mates are of little to no interest to him. And I “imagine” I get it.

            Nonetheless, I am interested in meeting him, and in attaching a real person to his name and face, and I have worked on making it happen over email for about a year, telling him of my interest in meeting him and how I’m often out in San Francisco, and him suggesting that when I was next out here to let him know and he would put some time aside for me.

            Here’s what I knew about Owen Renik before our rendezvous … nothing. Here’s what I “know” after our rendezvous at a very lovely lounge/bar in the neighborhood of his office around Sutter St in SF.
            He is currently a training and supervising analyst at the San Francisco Psychoanalytic Society. He was editor and chief of the “Psychoanalytic Quarterly” for a decade and Director of Training/Associate Chief of the Mt. Zion Hospital Department of Psychiatry. More than that he is the father of two girls/women, one a pediatrician in S.F. and the other a geologist, living in Texas, where Owen’s current woman/partner is. Neither have children and although he recognizes it would be a lovely experience to have, he is not attached to the notion that if it doesn’t happen he will suffer. Indeed, although I understand there were times in Owen’s life when he did suffer, and was confused, his overall experience of his life is that he was/is a remarkably fortunate man who lived a nice life. And on this one occasion of our meeting I found him to be as lovely a man as you are likely to meet. Fit. Trim. Nice haircut. T shirt and sport jacket. Works out. As I said, a psychoanalyst with a girlfriend in Texas, daughter in Texas, other daughter a pediatrician.

            What The Stones Say

            We stones don’t speak very loudly
            Start there.
            And although we can yelp and scrape
            And bang into one another as well and as loudly as most matter you’d know of
            The fact is that stones are mostly quiet
            Introverted some would say
            Not like creatures with their mouths open and life cycles measured in milliseconds
            No, we go back before the stone age, waaay back,
            Part of the molten age
            After the gas age
            When all was one blended brand
            Before the Great Differentiation
            Before air, before water.
            Before I was whole
            Before I was broke
            Mostly quiet
            Often wet
            Rolling a lot and for a long time
            And getting better at it
            On a beach somewhere
            Recently deposited
            After many long journeys
            Well rounded
            Attuned
            Mobile
            Maybe even curious by now
            Aware of the heat of the sun
            And the cool of the night
            The soft of the sand
            And the soft of the hand
            That lifts me
            And numbers of my kin
            And brings us to something called home
            And arranges us he says
            In some design he says
            That is absolutely unintelligible to us.
            But it is nice to be resting again
            And I seem to be in contact with other stones
            Who also came home with me
            From the beach.
            I like change
            And I like rest.
            And just bein’ a stone is alright with me.

            Poetry

              Ubud

              Naturally we have no idea how to find the guesthouse we have booked in Ubud, but this too has been our way in Bali, and so far, other than the fact we are from time to time truly lost, each wrong turn has brought us more pleasure and delight than the last. That Joy and I travel so well together is a gift and I cannot imagine any other person who I could be so lost with, so disoriented and even truly stuck with on a occasions, who I would feel more comfortable and less anxious with than Joy. Besides, Joy is immensely strong, reasonably prudent, mostly fully aware, AND she does eighty percent of the navigating and all of the driving.
              Once we’ve arrived in Penestanan and gotten a general sense of where our guesthouse is we leave the car, grab all of our luggage, computers, electrical equipment, and Joy’s travel guitar, and head a kilometer up and down narrow paths that no car can traverse to the guesthouse.
              It’s truly a jungle here, no longer in the breezy mountains, one degree of latitude off the equator, sweat pouring off us, rain falling sporadically but hard, the vegetation teeming, hanging, crawling, covering, rising up united in its patent desire to conquer every square inch of ground, air, sunlight, soil, and dead branch that will support it. Plants grow in the moist air itself, floating like feathers, twisted and twirling, embracing space with arms spread wide, wrapped in love as it were, with life, and with the desire to manifest themselves.
              The guesthouse, however, is drab, stale, darkly moist, and covered with green lichen. The stones in the flooring are loose beneath our feet. The lights are not working. The housekeeper cannot find our reservation. There are no empty rooms. The owner’s wife appears. We are served coffee. Karja himself is found and arrives to deal with the situation. He keeps guesthouse reservation records in his computer. His lovely wife – who is not computer savvy – keeps parallel records in a wet and wrinkled guestbook. Karja has been living in town, away from his wife and the guesthouse, because it has been more comfortable that way given the emotional difficulties their twenty one year old son has been having, something Karja and his wife are very open with us about, some form of bipolar disorder, some rage filled possession by demons and ancient priests commanding the son in ways that frighten and confuse him. The family has consulted the local shaman and healer, who has advised that the son quit graduate school and let the past inhabit him, to go with the flow as it were, unafraid. The boy has moved out, taken his father’s car, apparently gone to Denpasar. His parents are hopeful and concerned. Who wouldn’t be?
              But back to the matter of our accommodations. The wife has rented out our room. There are no rooms otherwise available here. It has grown dark. The mosquitoes are out. Karja has a brother. The brother also runs a guesthouse. It is behind the supermarket in town. We can stay there. Karja’s one-eyed father will go with us, show us where the guesthouse is. Everything has been taken care of. So we again load up all of our luggage, computers, electrical equipment, and Joy’s travel guitar, and head a kilometer up and down narrow paths to the car. Karja’s father sits in the back seat and points left and right. We get to the supermarket. The father finds the brother who leads us down a set of narrow steps, up a set of narrow steps, down a dark shoulder wide path between concrete walls, up steps, down steps, using our camera flashlight apps to help guide us, we walk and walk, over tiny bridges and flat stones, ultimately arriving in a compound bordered by wet and swampy rice paddies and a free standing two story home with a living room, fully equipped kitchen, stove, refrigerator, downstairs bedroom, upstairs bedroom, working fans, mosquito netting, hot and cold running water, and a veranda. It is silent but for the chirping of frogs and other creatures of the night, the moon emerges from the clouds before the rains begin again. We are in the most private and beautiful of settings that we could ever imagine, paradise in Penestanan. The guides have spoken.
              In the morning we walk into Ubud, which takes about thirty minutes. There is no place on earth like it, Provincetown on steroids with temples in a sauna, Polo shops, upscale restaurants, health food stores, aged hippies, the last of the beat generation, long hairs, scantily clad western men and women, tourists from every corner of the globe, gift shops, art shops, junk shops, massage parlors, gelato shops, yoga studios, crowds, traffic, coffee shops, my god even a Starbucks, and all somehow with a Balinese flair. Not somewhere we want to hang out in for long, although the restaurants are actually good, we see two separate Balinese dance troupes, one of which Joy dance’s with, I have the video to prove it, the Blanco Museum, the monkey temple. Entertainment. But the real surprise and real pleasure of Ubud for us is in the outlying neighborhoods, of car-free lanes, small outdoor indigenous restaurants, quaint guesthouses, immense quiet, beautiful vegetation and stone work, running irrigation ditches, and, of course, our little palace, which we stock with beer, wine, cheese and crackers and where I can comfortably write and do yoga under the mosquito netting and Joy can play her guitar.

              BALI

                TRAVEL DIARIES

                Bali

                Bali is clearly not the Bali of old, of the time before Bali was “discovered,” before Balinese women covered their bare breasts, before Ubud became exaggeratedly hip, before skyscraper resorts arose on the beaches. But Bali is still uniquely Bali … Hindu Bali, volcanic Bali, village Bali, sacred Bali, Bali with roads up and down mountainsides and along mountain ridges that rival the incline and hairpin turns of any twisted narrow roadway you have ever travelled on or dreamed of, with statues of gods and goddesses at every road juncture, before every bridge, in front of and inside of every home … all receiving gifts of flowers and incense daily … all a reflection of the genuine spiritual awareness and beliefs of the Balinese who walk with such great grace, their loads balanced on the tops of their heads … or precariously on their motorcycles …or somewhere in their hearts we cannot see.
                We rent a car in Denpasar, that being a far less expensive option than hiring drivers and providing us with a much greater range of exploration options, especially since as a practical matter public buses in Bali might as well not exist for short-term travelers. So what if we go around in circles for literal hours trying to get out of Denpasar headed in the right direction toward Sideman … or that we spend hours inching along in mountaintop fog so thick and dense, so obscuring of our vision, that the best we can do is try to follow the faded white line on a wet roadway so occasionally steep that if we pause we cannot proceed up in first gear, the tires spinning madly, but must back down to flatter ground to get a running start. Joy does all the driving.
                Sideman is well off the main road, in the mountains, amidst rice terraces and lush forest. From our guesthouse we branch out for day trips, most notably to the Besakih Temple, the most sacred of Hindu temples in all of Bali, which is built on the south slope of Mount Agung, the highest mountain in Bali and still an active volcano, having erupted about fifty years ago killing 2,000 people, its lava flow missing the temple by mere meters, but the spirit of the mountain resting quietly on the day we visit.
                The bulk of our time in Sideman is spent taking short walks to swimming holes and across foot bridges over various rivers and on long steep rides up and down mountainsides, the only way to get from village A – with its particular vantage points, rice terraces, and temple(s) – to village B, with its particular vantage points, rice terraces, and temple(s). We happen upon festivals. We join pilgrimage walks. We spend a lot of time just marveling at the scenery, drinking beer or coffee at some roadside stand, trying to talk to the smiling people and admiring their children. We leave Sideman reluctantly.

                BALI

                  TRAVEL DIARIES

                  Village in the Clouds

                  Village in the Clouds is truly a unique venue and very much the love child of Josep Triay, world class ultra-marathoner and son of Majorca, Spain. Originally conceived as a retreat by a wealthy Chinese merchant from Denpasar, a top Balinese architect has designed the buildings that sit high on a mountain overlooking valleys and rice terraces and from where on a clear day you can see the ocean about fifty miles away. The resort is very high end and can only accommodate about sixteen to twenty people when fully occupied. During the time we are stay there we see only two other overnight guests, lovely forty-year old women, also from Spain. The food is fantastic. The setting is fantastic. We walk to small shrines deep in the mountains. We try to walk to visit a popular hot spring but get completely lost and end up riding without helmets on the backs of motorcycles to get there and whose owners take us through village after lovely village to see UNESCO recognized rice terraces that are truly stunningly beautiful. We ride the bikes for a couple of hours. We pay the drivers five dollars each and they kiss our hands in gratitude.
                  Josep also runs a “Freedom School,” where village children are offered English classes with a Spanish accent, a few random other subjects, and Balinese dance. We visit the Balinese dance class, which Joy joins in. It is lovely to see young boys and girls separately learning the highly stylized dance footwork, hand and finger gestures, eye and head movements, and facial expressions.
                  On our last evening at Clouds before dinner I offer a yoga class that Joy, Josep, and the two women attend. Afterwards we all dine together. As with every meal at Clouds the food is fresh and this evening good wine is flowing and post dinner conversation is warm, candid, passionate and political. Josep suggest we have breakfast together as well. His mother has mailed him homemade Majorcan olives and prosciutto and he will instruct his Balinese staff to produce a classic Majorcan breakfast. I cannot begin to describe how delicious it was.
                  And this is the way it happens for us in Bali, a cornucopia of good fortune. Still, we take our heartfelt leave of Josep, Marisa, and Assun and head toward Pentestan, the village next to Ubud, where we will be staying at the guesthouse run by Karja Wayan, a renowned Balinese artist who has studied in Tampa and who has even visited Boston and the Cape. On our way to Ubud we stop at a spectacular botanical gardens (turn left at the big corn statue – no really, a big ear of corn statue in middle of road, twelve feet high and proportional) and also buy orchid cuttings that travel in a plastic bag through customs in New Guinea, the Philippines, and California and are growing now in my kitchen.

                  BALI

                    TRAVEL DIARIES