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Fierce Love

Fierce love is a long line of ants
marching through the jungle 
their footsteps thundering,
shaking the air and the leaves of trees,
on their way to the termite nest
capturing the termite eggs
bringing the eggs home to crack their shells 
and devour them after the war.


Fierce love is mortal combat,
hand to hand combat,
hearts beating as if to break,
a knife fight in which each combatant survives their wounds
bloody, scarred,
relieved,
even happy.

Fierce love is kneading bread,
pounding your fists
nto the powdery flour,
mutilating it until it can be shaped
into a form worth baking
and consuming.


Fierce love is protecting a child,
any child
imagining what might have happen
before the sharp flash of nails, the deep dive,
claws, bared incisors,
spittle and malice,
no sacrifice too great.


Fierce love is a sweet puppy
grown into a wild wolf
roaming the forests
seeking prey and sustenanc
 no sacrifice too small
no victim too large
where hunger is great
where hunger is all.


Fierce love is not complacent
not accepting
not friendly
not playful
just fierce
just for itself yet requiring another
where breathing is labored
and mountain paths hard
and solid
beneath your bare feet.


Fierce love knows not play
only revenge
the unrelenting labor of childbirth
blood, the caesarian geyser,
promises of freedom from the fear of imprisonment
and delight in the jail’s metal bars
and the cell’s unrelenting locks.


Fierce love is Isaac
prepared to sacrifice Jacob
and Jacob willing to be sacrificed
Odysseus slaughtering Penelope’s suitors
and Telemachus obeying his father’s commandment
while still repulsed by blood.


Fierce love is tenderness,
soft caresses
accompanying moans
flowers in vases
beauty that must die
prayers that know not skepticism,
deep rest after deep falls and deep failures,
bees kissing flowers
select sperm piercing the egg casing
monogamous osprey returning to last year’s nests
mammals’ milk
the heartbeat of tiny insects
rhythmic song
chanting
accepting nonexistence
crying in frustration
in gratitude for the multitude of gifts
of love that only exists
because we permit it
because we admit it.

I bring you these loves
these sensual songs we sing
as fierce heat from violent explosions on the nearest star
warms this otherwise dead and silent rock we live upon.

POETRY

    Lost in Familiar Woods

    When lost in familiar woods
    One is quickly aware there are no dress codes
    And after you’ve
    Spun around enough times
    To no longer know which way
    Will take you further into the forest
    Or which way leads out
    Not sure of where you’ve come from
    Or where you want to go
    Knowing only you like it here
    Comfortable and present

    Lost in familiar woods.
    There’s nothing to fear
    Lost in familiar wood
    No panic at being lost
    Nor missing the comfort of home
    Survival is not the issue,
    Disorientation is
    And you are paused
.
    Enjoy the pleasures of nature
    The trees many and one
    And the path before you
    Going in both directions
    Deeper and safe.

    POETRY

      God Says Yes To Me – Kaylin Haught

      I asked God if it was okay to be melodramatic
      and she said yes
      I asked her if it was okay to be short
      and she said it sure is
      I asked her if I could wear nail polish or not wear nail polish
      and she said honey
      she calls me that sometimes
      she said you can do just exactly what you want to
      Thanks God I said
      And is it even okay if I don’t paragraph my letters
      Sweetcakes God said
      who knows where she picked that up
      what I’m telling you is
      Yes Yes Yes

      Poetry

        A Climbing Poem

        When you didn’t come home
        When I didn’t hear from you
        I was strangely unafraid
        Lonely for sure, but not afraid
        I sensed where you were … more or less.


        I called your office
        They said your wife said
        “You’d gone missing”
        Though they were still searching.
        I knew this might happen.


        I waited for a phone message
        Even email
        None arrived


        Then one day a postal card
        With a foreign town’s cancel stamp
        As the return address.
        Your writing was teeny
        And covered every inch of space.
        It had directions.


        I called my office the very next day
        Told them I was leaving
        Laughed with the receptionist
        Who said she wanted to leave too
        “Take my name,” I told her
        And perhaps she did.


        I left my not job
        My not apartment
        I had so very few strings
        So few attachments
        And I craved you so


        There is more
        I arrived at the airport
        Used my credit card
        To buy a one-way ticket
        Dome money
        Two plane rides
        Three bus rides


        When I got to the beach
        At the bottom of the mountains
        I pulled the post card from my pocket
        As you asked me to
        And read again


        “Find the most beautiful beach
        Follow the steepest road
        Downhill is always the wrong direction
        Pay attention to the smell of lavender
        Look for pages of an old passport
        Land snails climbing the highway reflector posts
        Look for praying mantises
        And note the direction they are pointing
        See the flocks of dragonflies
        Listen to the bells of goats
        Listen for the biggest herd
        The greatest range of bell sounds
        Be that music


        Walk on up, hard as it may be
        Cyclists coming down will be singing
        Cyclists going up will be saying “difficult”
        This is a sign you are on the right road
        Where the seeing-eye cacti stop growing is a church
        You will see it from miles away
        Four windows in the bell tower
        High above the trees
        Light pouring in
        Real light


        The priest will take you in
        He will know nothing
        But word of your being will seep out
        And my shepherd will hear
        He will go to confession
        He will bind the Father
        “Tell her only where to find Him,
        Only tell her.”
        And the father will,


        “Passed the goldenrod,” he will say
        “No one ever goes there
        There are marigolds
        Pine trees
        A ladder straddles a fence
        A stone house
        The smell of freshly made cheese
        Of sheep
        A fire”


        It is there you will find
        A freshly made bed
        Myrtle
        Clean linen
        The earthen floor swept clean
        You may even find me
        Or find dried bones.
        Just in case
        Bring the heart meds.

        POETRY

          A Reminder – found and slightly edited from the webpage of a Methodist Church

          We live on a planet
          where trees whisper
          to one another
          through mycelial networks.
          Where octopuses with nine brains dream,
          and whales with hearts the size of small pianos sing,
          calling each other by name.
          Where elephants mourn their lost,
          standing in silent vigil
          over the bones of their kin.
          Where bees dance
          to the flowers,
          and crows remember faces
          never forgetting a slight.
          Where ants build vast metropolises,
          cats purr at the exact frequency of healing,
          and the forest’s first breath after a fire
          is a bloom of flowers.
          Beauty and wonder are everywhere.
          Life far more then we can imagine
          Far more than we can even dream.
          Walk softly upon this earth
          There is room for ever more miracles.

          Poetry

            I Couldn’t Find Today Today

            I misplaced my car keys and phone
            And couldn’t find today today.
            My knowing that the sun
            Had rerisen on a new day didn’t help,
            Nor did attending a meeting
            Scheduled for today
            And conducted in my native language
            Where I couldn’t understand
            The meaning in this context
            Of any of the words used
            All of which I knew the meanings of.

            Even the meaning of “and” and “or,”
            And/or, more specifically,
            And which and or or applied
            To which criteria today
            Was lost
            Or couldn’t be found
            Or agreed upon.

            So we didn’t reach closure,
            Someone said, “today,”
            And the matter was put off
            To another today,
            The date of which also couldn’t be agreed upon
            But at least had not yet been lost.

            I hoped this poem would be lost
            And/or should have been,
            On the day I couldn’t find today,
            But that today went on to become yesterday
            And a future I imagined would exist
            Became the tomorrows of today
            The day I couldn’t find today
            And I found the poem still there
            Or here, today.

            POETRY

              spring – Safia Elhillo

              it’s late now, it’s early, no way
              to know which season it is
              of the total years of my life,
              weren’t we only just nineteen,
              tonya & i, wasn’t she only just
              alive, long-limbed & cross-legged
              on my dorm room floor,
              wasn’t it springtime of a year
              so unlike this one, thirteen
              years past, cool nights in line
              outside the nuyorican hoping
              to make it on the list, wasn’t it
              a friday night like this one
              & the only people i wanted to love
              were poets, earrings swaying
              against their necks, dancing
              in the dark of the room where we
              all knew each other’s secrets, weren’t
              we all just at that party, wasn’t i only
              just eighteen, pointed northward
              on a chinatown bus to that city,
              to watch ai elo onstage at the apollo,
              wasn’t she only just alive, smoking
              with camonghne, asking me my favorite
              song, cackling on the apartment floor,
              on the air mattress we used as a couch,
              how is it that it was long ago, how is it
              i am on the other side of it, long ago, how
              did i leave that city, that time when we
              were all together, everyone alive,
              wasn’t the dream to be a poet, wasn’t
              the plan to live forever, our powers
              newly acquired, newly in love
              with what we could do, didn’t we all
              belong to each other, to that work,
              going after to the pizza shop
              to recite what we’d memorized,
              weren’t we all just there, wasn’t it warm
              outside, wasn’t the road long & clear,
              isn’t it early still, isn’t it late, & why
              am i still here, did i survive or was i left
              behind, & what season is it that we are
              no longer together & some of us have gone?

              Poetry

                Enriching the Earth – Wendell Berry

                To enrich the earth I have sowed clover and grass
                to grow and die. I have plowed in the seeds
                of winter grains and various legumes,
                their growth to be plowed in to enrich the earth.
                I have stirred into the ground the offal
                and the decay of the growth of past seasons
                and so mended the earth and made its yield increase.
                All this serves the dark. Against the shadow
                of veiled possibility my workdays stand
                in a most asking light. I am slowly falling
                into the fund of things. And yet to serve the earth,
                not knowing what I serve, gives a wideness
                and a delight to the air, and my days
                do not wholly pass. It is the mind’s service,
                for when the will fails so do the hands
                and one lives at the expense of life.
                After death, willing or not, the body serves,
                entering the earth. And so what was heaviest
                and most mute is at last raised up into song.

                Poetry

                  The Best Poem Ever – Brian Doyle

                  What if, says a small child to me this afternoon,
                  We made a poem without using any words at all?
                  Wouldn’t that be cool? You could use long twigs,
                  And feathers, or spider strands, and arrange them
                  So that people imagine what words could be there.
                  Wouldn’t that be cool? So there’s a different poem
                  For each reader. That would be the best poem ever.
                  The poem wouldn’t be on the page, right? It would
                  Be in the air, sort of. It would be between the twigs
                  And the person’s eyes, or behind the person’s eyes,
                  After the person saw whatever poem he or she saw.
                  Maybe there are a lot of poems that you can’t write
                  Down. Couldn’t that be? But they’re still there even
                  If no one can write them down, right? Poems in
                  Books are only a little bit of all the poems there are.
                  Those are only the poems someone found words for.

                  Poetry

                    The Visit


                    I visit with a good friend today
                    And find him crying.
                    My impulse is to lift his spirit
                    From whatever darkness has overtaken him.
                    “Would you like a hug,” I ask
                    And he nodded yes.

                    Holding my friend in my arms
                    I feel his shaking,
                    His heart beating,
                    The expansion and release of his ribs
                    With each inhale and exhale.
                    I see the air that comes into his nostrils
                    Watch as it journeys into his lungs
                    As his heart pumps
                    As oxygen molecules attach themselves
                    To the riverboats
                    Riding on arterial rivers
                    That travel north and south
                    Coast to coast
                    Deposited at cellular transfer depots
                    Like baggage being transferred
                    From ship to dock
                    Each atom of oxygen
                    Picked up and greeted on its arrival
                    The contents of the molecules
                    Sorted from their shipping crates
                    And instantly put to use
                    Enlivening the recipient
                    Who then gives back
                    What was not of use
                    Along with a small gift
                    As together they rejoin the river boats
                    On the mighty rivers
                    Flowing further into the interior
                    And then back into the lungs
                    Where again the boats take on new passengers
                    New suitcases
                    Brought to recipients in need.

                    I noticed my friend had stopped sobbing
                    His feet rooted more firmly on the earth
                    Whose energy helped him stand upright.
                    We looked at each other.
                    No words were spoken,
                    And we smiled.

                    POETRY