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Ubud
Naturally we have no idea how to find the guesthouse we have booked in Ubud, but this too has been our way in Bali, and so far, other than the fact we are from time to time truly lost, each wrong turn has brought us more pleasure and delight than the last. That Joy and I travel so well together is a gift and I cannot imagine any other person who I could be so lost with, so disoriented and even truly stuck with on a occasions, who I would feel more comfortable and less anxious with than Joy. Besides, Joy is immensely strong, reasonably prudent, mostly fully aware, AND she does eighty percent of the navigating and all of the driving.
Once we’ve arrived in Penestanan and gotten a general sense of where our guesthouse is we leave the car, grab all of our luggage, computers, electrical equipment, and Joy’s travel guitar, and head a kilometer up and down narrow paths that no car can traverse to the guesthouse.
It’s truly a jungle here, no longer in the breezy mountains, one degree of latitude off the equator, sweat pouring off us, rain falling sporadically but hard, the vegetation teeming, hanging, crawling, covering, rising up united in its patent desire to conquer every square inch of ground, air, sunlight, soil, and dead branch that will support it. Plants grow in the moist air itself, floating like feathers, twisted and twirling, embracing space with arms spread wide, wrapped in love as it were, with life, and with the desire to manifest themselves.
The guesthouse, however, is drab, stale, darkly moist, and covered with green lichen. The stones in the flooring are loose beneath our feet. The lights are not working. The housekeeper cannot find our reservation. There are no empty rooms. The owner’s wife appears. We are served coffee. Karja himself is found and arrives to deal with the situation. He keeps guesthouse reservation records in his computer. His lovely wife – who is not computer savvy – keeps parallel records in a wet and wrinkled guestbook. Karja has been living in town, away from his wife and the guesthouse, because it has been more comfortable that way given the emotional difficulties their twenty one year old son has been having, something Karja and his wife are very open with us about, some form of bipolar disorder, some rage filled possession by demons and ancient priests commanding the son in ways that frighten and confuse him. The family has consulted the local shaman and healer, who has advised that the son quit graduate school and let the past inhabit him, to go with the flow as it were, unafraid. The boy has moved out, taken his father’s car, apparently gone to Denpasar. His parents are hopeful and concerned. Who wouldn’t be?
But back to the matter of our accommodations. The wife has rented out our room. There are no rooms otherwise available here. It has grown dark. The mosquitoes are out. Karja has a brother. The brother also runs a guesthouse. It is behind the supermarket in town. We can stay there. Karja’s one-eyed father will go with us, show us where the guesthouse is. Everything has been taken care of. So we again load up all of our luggage, computers, electrical equipment, and Joy’s travel guitar, and head a kilometer up and down narrow paths to the car. Karja’s father sits in the back seat and points left and right. We get to the supermarket. The father finds the brother who leads us down a set of narrow steps, up a set of narrow steps, down a dark shoulder wide path between concrete walls, up steps, down steps, using our camera flashlight apps to help guide us, we walk and walk, over tiny bridges and flat stones, ultimately arriving in a compound bordered by wet and swampy rice paddies and a free standing two story home with a living room, fully equipped kitchen, stove, refrigerator, downstairs bedroom, upstairs bedroom, working fans, mosquito netting, hot and cold running water, and a veranda. It is silent but for the chirping of frogs and other creatures of the night, the moon emerges from the clouds before the rains begin again. We are in the most private and beautiful of settings that we could ever imagine, paradise in Penestanan. The guides have spoken.
In the morning we walk into Ubud, which takes about thirty minutes. There is no place on earth like it, Provincetown on steroids with temples in a sauna, Polo shops, upscale restaurants, health food stores, aged hippies, the last of the beat generation, long hairs, scantily clad western men and women, tourists from every corner of the globe, gift shops, art shops, junk shops, massage parlors, gelato shops, yoga studios, crowds, traffic, coffee shops, my god even a Starbucks, and all somehow with a Balinese flair. Not somewhere we want to hang out in for long, although the restaurants are actually good, we see two separate Balinese dance troupes, one of which Joy dance’s with, I have the video to prove it, the Blanco Museum, the monkey temple. Entertainment. But the real surprise and real pleasure of Ubud for us is in the outlying neighborhoods, of car-free lanes, small outdoor indigenous restaurants, quaint guesthouses, immense quiet, beautiful vegetation and stone work, running irrigation ditches, and, of course, our little palace, which we stock with beer, wine, cheese and crackers and where I can comfortably write and do yoga under the mosquito netting and Joy can play her guitar.
BALI
TRAVEL DIARIES
Bali
Bali is clearly not the Bali of old, of the time before Bali was “discovered,” before Balinese women covered their bare breasts, before Ubud became exaggeratedly hip, before skyscraper resorts arose on the beaches. But Bali is still uniquely Bali … Hindu Bali, volcanic Bali, village Bali, sacred Bali, Bali with roads up and down mountainsides and along mountain ridges that rival the incline and hairpin turns of any twisted narrow roadway you have ever travelled on or dreamed of, with statues of gods and goddesses at every road juncture, before every bridge, in front of and inside of every home … all receiving gifts of flowers and incense daily … all a reflection of the genuine spiritual awareness and beliefs of the Balinese who walk with such great grace, their loads balanced on the tops of their heads … or precariously on their motorcycles …or somewhere in their hearts we cannot see.
We rent a car in Denpasar, that being a far less expensive option than hiring drivers and providing us with a much greater range of exploration options, especially since as a practical matter public buses in Bali might as well not exist for short-term travelers. So what if we go around in circles for literal hours trying to get out of Denpasar headed in the right direction toward Sideman … or that we spend hours inching along in mountaintop fog so thick and dense, so obscuring of our vision, that the best we can do is try to follow the faded white line on a wet roadway so occasionally steep that if we pause we cannot proceed up in first gear, the tires spinning madly, but must back down to flatter ground to get a running start. Joy does all the driving.
Sideman is well off the main road, in the mountains, amidst rice terraces and lush forest. From our guesthouse we branch out for day trips, most notably to the Besakih Temple, the most sacred of Hindu temples in all of Bali, which is built on the south slope of Mount Agung, the highest mountain in Bali and still an active volcano, having erupted about fifty years ago killing 2,000 people, its lava flow missing the temple by mere meters, but the spirit of the mountain resting quietly on the day we visit.
The bulk of our time in Sideman is spent taking short walks to swimming holes and across foot bridges over various rivers and on long steep rides up and down mountainsides, the only way to get from village A – with its particular vantage points, rice terraces, and temple(s) – to village B, with its particular vantage points, rice terraces, and temple(s). We happen upon festivals. We join pilgrimage walks. We spend a lot of time just marveling at the scenery, drinking beer or coffee at some roadside stand, trying to talk to the smiling people and admiring their children. We leave Sideman reluctantly.
BALI
TRAVEL DIARIES
Village in the Clouds
Village in the Clouds is truly a unique venue and very much the love child of Josep Triay, world class ultra-marathoner and son of Majorca, Spain. Originally conceived as a retreat by a wealthy Chinese merchant from Denpasar, a top Balinese architect has designed the buildings that sit high on a mountain overlooking valleys and rice terraces and from where on a clear day you can see the ocean about fifty miles away. The resort is very high end and can only accommodate about sixteen to twenty people when fully occupied. During the time we are stay there we see only two other overnight guests, lovely forty-year old women, also from Spain. The food is fantastic. The setting is fantastic. We walk to small shrines deep in the mountains. We try to walk to visit a popular hot spring but get completely lost and end up riding without helmets on the backs of motorcycles to get there and whose owners take us through village after lovely village to see UNESCO recognized rice terraces that are truly stunningly beautiful. We ride the bikes for a couple of hours. We pay the drivers five dollars each and they kiss our hands in gratitude.
Josep also runs a “Freedom School,” where village children are offered English classes with a Spanish accent, a few random other subjects, and Balinese dance. We visit the Balinese dance class, which Joy joins in. It is lovely to see young boys and girls separately learning the highly stylized dance footwork, hand and finger gestures, eye and head movements, and facial expressions.
On our last evening at Clouds before dinner I offer a yoga class that Joy, Josep, and the two women attend. Afterwards we all dine together. As with every meal at Clouds the food is fresh and this evening good wine is flowing and post dinner conversation is warm, candid, passionate and political. Josep suggest we have breakfast together as well. His mother has mailed him homemade Majorcan olives and prosciutto and he will instruct his Balinese staff to produce a classic Majorcan breakfast. I cannot begin to describe how delicious it was.
And this is the way it happens for us in Bali, a cornucopia of good fortune. Still, we take our heartfelt leave of Josep, Marisa, and Assun and head toward Pentestan, the village next to Ubud, where we will be staying at the guesthouse run by Karja Wayan, a renowned Balinese artist who has studied in Tampa and who has even visited Boston and the Cape. On our way to Ubud we stop at a spectacular botanical gardens (turn left at the big corn statue – no really, a big ear of corn statue in middle of road, twelve feet high and proportional) and also buy orchid cuttings that travel in a plastic bag through customs in New Guinea, the Philippines, and California and are growing now in my kitchen.
BALI
TRAVEL DIARIES
Life among the barbarians
I live among barbarians
People who fart at the dining room table
People who eat cows
And kick dogs
Business account executives
Wasting the gift of time
Negotiating abstractions
People living apart from one another
I hide from them
In the woods and the dunes
In alleyways and tents
Trying to move in obscurity and safety
To not rattle the rows and rows of opened cages
To not awaken their eager indifferent war machines
Their hungover stupors
Their trigger happy play
To not awaken their collective anger
And mythic gods
To not care about tit contour shaping brassieres
Golf scores
Relative wealth
Some daily disaster that passes as news
While all that is good and free is ignored,
Taken for granted, not acknowledged
Not honored
Not even seen.
Life among the barbarians
© 2016
Poetry
Pig Roast – circa 2010
The long awaited pig roast unfolds, not exactly as scripted, but deliriously lovely in almost every way. What was not anticipated includes my sister’s and nephew’s early arrival, without whom this roast absolutely could not have happened, not given the fact that a butterflied 160 pound pig presents some real problem in the realm of physics, fire, and balancing. Unanticipated also was the amount of time it took for me and some of the greatest minds of my generation to fashion a wire cage strong enough to hold the pig in place, and the amount of heavy grade wire I’d have to cut to fasten the top and bottom of said cage, and the number of nicks and cuts I have all over my hands, and the burns on my fingertips, and the pain in muscles I don’t usually use, in my hands and fingers, my back, and parts of my mind.
Most of all, although I anticipated all manner “disaster,” from rainy weather, to no one showing up, to the pig being undercooked no matter how long I cooked it, to the pig falling apart, or falling into dirt, or getting up and flying off on big Pegasus wings, none of these events unfolded, although three surprises awaited me.
One was being left alone all day with the pig while all of the other humans entertained themselves in other ways. Just me and the pig hanging out on a glorious fall morning and afternoon. Hour after hour unable or unwilling to depart her side, to abandon my watch and my responsibility for this pig, my pig, and this gathering, watching the fire, tending the fire.
Then there was my forgetting, or not knowing, or not anticipating how much immense pleasure it would give me to share this adventure and this pig with Sam, and how his very presence excites and inspires me and puts a big smile on my face, and that we were able to share in this experience.
And third, though not least, what happens when you’re cooking a pig a solid three feet above the coals, and you are humming your cook-it-slowly-thoroughly-and-long mantra, and quite unthinkingly, while straightening up the yard, raking, and collecting down branches, all within sight of said pig, you take a small fallen oak tree branch that has lots of dry brown leaves still attached and in an idle offhanded way throw said branch on the low flame high heat coals, whereupon said leaves foreseeably burst into flames and said flames reach up to the downside backside hide of the hog, which until that moment has been steadily dripping 100 percent pork fat oil onto the hissing coals, when the actual flame from the burning leaves reaches the skin of the pig, and the entire pig is almost instantly engulfed in flames, a horrific sight. And as I stand there transfixed, thinking the flames will burn themselves out, in fact they do not, and rather than die they contribute to a napalm-like fire of immense and seemingly tragic proportions, the entire pig encased in flame, feeding the fires with its dripping fat, dripping so much fat the entire skin of the pig is encased in a big oil rig fire, a runaway well that cannot be capped, and even when I remove the heat and flame source beneath the pig, the skin continues its burning in a vigorous, wind whipped independent fire, my entire pig quite literally entirely engulfed in flame, which, after a time I come to realize is not going to go out of its own volition without first consuming the entire pig, and I have to secure the garden hose and seriously spray the pig in an act of firefighter daring do, while simultaneously beating down the grass fire that has started all around the grill racing toward the shed. And thus it goes, my morning and afternoon alone with a lovely enough mammal who was alive and breathing the fresh free air two short days ago, and then had her throat cut, and was eviscerated, who drove home in the front seat of my car wearing a hat and a seatbelt so I could use the fast lane and came to rest three feet over a very very hot fire, and was transformed from living flesh and bone and organs that worked and lived, into meat cooking over a fire, and then into the very humans who consumed her, and honored her, and remember her in ways few of her kind are remembered, once alive and now a part of me.
MISCELLANEOUS
Death Factories
Heavily armed police are everywhere.
The Pentagon provides these servants of public safety
With surplus offensive weaponry
The clock is loudly ticking
The Military Industrial Complex
doing well everywhere
Well-armed, well paid.
Thriving in dysfunctionality
Caught in a whirlwind of ill chosen choices
Toilets flushing shit into oceans by the billions
garbage everywhere
Many hungry and homeless
The hint of German accents in times of war
Of truly mad men
Unfortunate men
Presidents, generals,
corrupt corporate executives
unwilling to return to the dream time
unable to sing
in the wrong place at the wrong time
like a creature trying to find his way out of a pitch dark room
you can hear their shuffling pace
as they trace the outline of the wall
with their fingertips
bumping into chairs and bureaus
edging past windows and closets
trying to find a door which opens
to reveal the earth as she is
hurtling thru time and space
east to west
spinning deliriously
the hint of light
a bird so clearly wounded it has to be dying
by the woodshed
laying in gray and blue and soft white feathers
fluttering in leaves and twig
in darkness
to die
before the nuclear power plants kill us all
outdated, leaking, toxic
destroying the planet
poetry, music, song, dance
lost as midwives to unpredictability
humans unable to solve these problems
placing the death factories precisely where they will do the most harm.
Poetry
Sunrise
The choice
Was stark
Sit at my desk drafting legal memoranda
Or go to the beach
To watch the sunrise.
The dog was very clear,
Wise some might say.
The boat with the red light on
Moving silently across the horizon
had also gotten the message.
The seals
The solitary fisherman
His baited hook sailing thru the air
The cigarette dangling from the fisherman’s lips
The brilliant colors
The couple hugging
Seagulls
A photographer
An infant
The dead creature the dog was rolling in
The hopes and promises inherent in the spinning of our planet
The spinning of the dervishes
The spinning of the hook
I count
as far as my eyes can see
North and south along the border between earth and sea
Between sea and sky
One hundred footprints
reminders of one hundred journeys
One thousand stones
rolled here by ancient glaciers
And restless seas
Stretch marks visible on their distended bellies
The light that travels ninety three million miles
To brighten the dawn
The first glimpse of mother’s face
The first taste of mother’s milk
Knowing what warm is
What winning feels like
How joy thrives in acceptance
The papers still waiting on my desk
The words unwritten
The thoughts unformed
Geese traveling south
Our earth spinning eastward
The black dog and the white dog playing
Glad the seasonal restriction on their presence has been lifted
Labor Day a distant memory
The fishing line cast
The tide retreating
The illusion of time
The growing space between the sun
And the distant sea’s edge
No longer daybreak
No longer dawn
The day upon us
The magnificent seal
now paused on her journey
To stare at the foreign shore.
Poetry
Day break
in the car
driving from the shore into the city
from the bedroom to the courtroom
from a day in which I had not
put on one piece of clothing,
not a sock or a towel,
a day in which the snowy fields and salted marsh
were in my soul and in my nostrils constantly
to a day where I am wearing a suit
stiff shoes
matching knee-high socks
and bearing two ties
having not decided
what costume
best fits my fancy.
the roads are clear
the traffic light
snow covers the ground
and few other people
have arrived at the notion
that getting up
to put on a costume
and drive into any city
is such a good idea
at any time.
brt (c) 2007
Poetry
Journey to Standing Rock
1.
You long to know what you will do
With the rest of your life
with the finite time left.
You want to be brutally honest
And brave.
You also know you have but one death
And choosing your fate has appeal.
2.
The journey begins with a vision of deeper discoveries
Of walking in beauty,
Which may be done
pretty much anywhere.
Although it is important to remember
that walking in beauty
is different than talking
of walking in beauty.
3.
All journeys begin
with an intention
Some also with a fatal execution
your partner leaving,
you leaving,
ending, separating,
each declaring the joint venture over
she needing to be by herself
the woman who chose work over time with you
a perfectly rational choice
except for a person who says
Love is the most important thing
That you are her true love
And deeply matter.
But oaths lose
And pledges lose
And you are a different you than the one she wanted
Though she will care for your dog while you’re away
As your dog will care for her
Each on their own spiritual journey.
Maybe it will be her dog.
4.
Near the beginning of the voyage
A woman appears
Out of thin air
Divine and ethereal
A woman slumbering
Like Briar Rose
Under the same spell for decades
The same weight
The same burdens
Now awakened
A sleeping beauty
Stretching
Reaching out
unencumbered by earthly constraints
Sans job, home, or husband
With but one son, one dog, two grandchildren, and three cats
One of whom is dying
She well knows the special role she plays in their lives
And leaves them
all of them
for you.
Do not ask how her son sees all that.
At least the kids still talk with her.
5.
You and she fill her van to the gunnels with supplies
To bring to the Standing Rock Sioux,
To the Water Protectors in North Dakota
Cannonball North Dakota: One rundown store and a gas pump
Blankets, winter clothing, propane, wood, a wood splitting maul,
an axe, sleeping bags, tents, a stove, a tarp,
bolt cutters, hand and foot warmers, earplugs.
There is not enough room left under the van’s roof
to slide in one thin sheet of paper.
6.
They are housed and hosted
Succored on their journey across the continent.
Across mountains and sacred rivers
by friends who are happy to serve
new and old friends
friends who live in castles above olden rivers
people who live in apple orchards, in cities,
with children here and children on the way,
with shared custody arrangements
in rooms belonging to eight year old and ten year old boys
rooms filed with team jerseys, photographs, hats, trophies,
gloves for four different sports.
7.
In Minneapolis he goes into some form of skin shedding
Says he is transitioning.
Vaporous.
Dizzy.
Nauseous.
As if overcome
Does not eat.
People think he looks sickly
They feel concern for
the farting old man
who says he has six years to live.
Who says he is not going into any nursing home
Who says he is not hanging around
If he can’t toilet himself.
8.
They convince him they are frightened for him
They convince him to be seen in Urgent Care
To have x-rays, ultrasounds, and blood tests
The doctors and labs find nothing wrong w him,
Other than a depression at the lower end of his left lung,
something he’s not sure he needed to know.
He tells the doctor he is shedding his skin.
At least one of them believes him.
9.
They visit the Sioux at Pine Ridge and Standing Rock
Sioux fighting for 500 years to remain Sioux
Still fighting
Proud, determined
Reverent, persistent
Worshippers of ancestors
Of Mother Earth
Her soil, plants,
her air and waters
Of the four leggeds
and the beings that fly.
They are sure we are all related
That people are Earth protectors
The Earth our garden and well.
10.
There is Oregon
All of California
Encampment at Oak Flat
The police in Oklahoma
Lobbying Congress
The humorous truth
That they travel together
For 18 thousand miles
For 18 weeks
And break up 18 times.
And then no more.
Poetry
Beau Dies
Before I leave for SE Asia
I ask Beau to wait until my return
before leaving this Earth
Though we also say our goodbyes.
Then, a week before my return
My ex-wife calls to say
She’s not sure Beau will make it
And while I am flying home
The always happy,
always kind and affectionate,
highest jumper in his class,
the fleet of foot gentleman
who understood far more than I
of love and sticks
our Beau takes his last breath.
He looks palsied in death
Eyes opened
Lips parted
His fur as soft and golden to the touch
As it has ever been
Legs stretched out
In the way he would love to do
I see him shaking with pleasure.
Wrapped in a sheet
buried in the yard
between two cedar trees
with some dog food
a seashell from the Indian Ocean
His collar and tags still on him
And a piece of the rare candy
He’d sometimes delight in the sugary first rush of
Licking his lips
then grimacing with disdain
for the bitter aftertaste.
Llife’s like this I think
as we cover him with earth
a stone with his name on it
painted with his favorite red nail polish
a libation of red wine
sandalwood incense burning
two hawks on a thermal high in the sky
circling over Beau’s buried body
in honor of their fallen brother.
He was such a good dog.
Poetry